I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
