the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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