Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
