Where is the hickey?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Your cock deserves a montage
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
