We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Panties = found
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
