I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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