time to smoke my breakfast
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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