Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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