D3 body, D1 cock
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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