I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize