I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
