I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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