he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
