You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
