no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
