I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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