i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
