Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
