um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
