After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
