You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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