Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The uberlube is also flammable
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
