we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
