If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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