She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
