for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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