can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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