I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
