Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it glows. i had to have it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
