They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
