I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
