You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
