is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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