You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
