Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
