it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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