How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
