arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
