winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
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Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
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I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.