It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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