A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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