I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
