She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize