I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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