She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
