Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
