Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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