Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
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he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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