She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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