guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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