I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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