their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
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youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize