I will die if light touches me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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