Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
