When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
