I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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