I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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