we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
