so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
