When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
