I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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