So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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