I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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