Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
im on a boat
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