Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize